On the loss of mans best friend. My best friend.
Today is August 23rd. Exactly two years from the day my father passed away. Maybe it's no coincidence that today was the day I had to put Belle down. After thirteen years it was finally time to let her go. She was a great dog. A great friend. She was a constant in my life for all those years. She was like a child to me. And for those people who feel the same way about their dogs as I do, they will understand. There aren’t as many people as I would have thought that can understand that. But to a true dog lover, a dog is not some animal that lives outside in the back yard, but instead is a part of the family. A dog is a part of you.
You can easily spot the few people that understand that. They are the ones that come over to your house for a visit, or for dinner, and when they enter your house, they immediately bend down to pet the dog. They get right down with the dog. It's an easy give-away. They are the ones who bring their own dog into their home, instead of having the dog chained up in the back yard. They are the ones who let the dog sleep inside, with the rest of the family. And, if late at night, they hear a noise in the basement, perhaps an intruder, they are the ones that are thinking, I've got to protect the dog. Yes, protect the dog.
Being a dog's owner has its share of responsibilities. The biggest responsibility I had as Belle's owner was taking care of her today. Today was her day. And as her owner, as her friend, it was my job to objectively know when it was time. We all want to hang on longer, but it was her time. That was my job. To stand and say that. To come to grips with it. I'm not going to let her go on any longer than she should. She hasn’t eaten well at all in the past several weeks. And she hasn’t really eaten anything in the past three days. Her back legs just stopped working. She couldn’t really walk. Thank god she didn’t look like she was in pain, but she just looked helpless. And I knew. I just knew.
It is such a great thing to be able to be there in the very end. I got that chance. I always hoped I would have that chance. To be there with her. To hold her. To say goodbye. And to watch as her eyes, always dancing, finally just weren’t dancing anymore. It was just before the doctor quietly told me that her heart had stopped beating that I could tell by the look in her eyes. The dance had gone. Ever so quietly. It had gone.
Goodbye Belle
21 comments:
Absolutely, all of it, I agree and completely understand. I am sorry for your loss, but I know from your story that you have many good times to remember.
I too have a dog, Zeus is his name. My American Pit Bull Terrier. He isn't the mean snarled up dog that comes to mind when you hear "Pit-Bull". He is more like a Pit-Poodle as he has been called before. He sleeps in my bed with me, he eats when I eat. He is a true friend. I know that I too will face the decision you have already conquered. But like you when it is time, it will be time for him to go to heaven as well. He is 3 years old now. I know he has a lot of years to go, but I wanted you to know you werent alone.
Nathan, you jerk. Once again making water come out of my eyes. Beautiful tribute, but I'm glad
I read it at home. Because of the eye/water thing. You owe me 14 inches of toilet paper, which at present exchange rates equals 1 coke from the vending machine at work.
Ouch... My biggest sympathies. My cancer-ridden best friend cocker named Marley slipped away before the doctor could put him to sleep courtesy of some brown ale and a massive amount of codeine, lovingly and painfully administered by his own best friend. Hardest, saddest thing I ever did in my life and I don't regret it for a minute. I hope someone has the foresight to take me out the same way when my time comes...
Nathan,
I just read your blog for the first time today; was linked from Dusty's page. You have my deepest sympathies on the loss of your Belle. I feel the only kind of dog owners should be loving dog owners, and you certainly sound like one. My Scout is only a year old (black lab--my favorite) but I still remember the pain we all felt when my 14-year-old black lab Whoopsie had to be put to sleep when I was also 14. She'd also gotten very sick and was miserable, but it didn't make any of us feel better.
My sympathies--it won't be easy, but as a great dog I'm sure she's in a nice place. I like to think of dog heaven as a place where there's a constant supply of water and dog cookies, a tennis ball throwing machine and a steady stream of dogs and dog people to play with. come to that, doesn't sound like a bad way for me to spend eternity.
Best to you and your family at a time like this.
Nathan/Jamice and Girls:
We know the pain of loosing a K-9 friend. We have lost several, all from old age except for little MAX. The ones you may remember would be MAX and SHEBA. Before that we lost our pals MARVE, another SHEBA, REDNECK, FRITZ, HEIDI and the older FRITZ.
Unfortunately our pals have a shorter life span. That means we have to do double for them while they are here. We hope our animals are at least as well of as we are. Yours were too when we had the good fortune to look out for them while you vacationed.
We loved BELL and are so sorry she is gone. I haven't been able to speak with her for a while. We had good morning conversations. We know she will be miss by the girls.
She will be waiting for you at "Rainbow Bridge" until you come for her. Tennis anyone?
Thanks for letting us know
JIM, out
How heartbreaking! I had to put my cat down 10 years ago this November so I know exactly what you are going through. My heart goes out to you and your family.
The pain will lessen with time and you'll have all those years with Belle to remember. God Bless You.
I laid down in the garage with my dead Rott, after he got hit in the street, early am on a Friday. He was 5 years old and so sweet tempered and trained and most of all beautiful. I fired the wife, who let him out and have been nothing but glad since. Pics soon on my blog.
I'm so sorry for you. I had to put my beloved cat to sleep two years ago and I still get teary-eyed when I think about it. It's hard, but at some point we know we have to stop being selfish and do what's best for our beloved pet, be they dogs or cats. And I'm very glad you were there at the end. I don't understand people who just drop their pets off and leave and have the vet do it at his/her convenience. That's abandonment in my book.
A beautiful and touching entry. Dusty is leading the masses to you, and I am sure that everyone will feel the same way I do. Belle was lucky to have such a loving and devoted friend. Your tenderness and compassion is evident in every word. I am sorry for your loss.
Hey Nate,
Thanks for such a touching post, I am a "cat" person but I do love dogs. Belle sounded like such a lovely gal. You made me want to cuddle with my 18 year old cat as soon as I can. My sympathies go out to you and your family.
I just wanted to send my prayers your way. I could feel your pain when I was reading this. a year ago (this labor day weekend) I had to put my Great Dane, Kelsey, to sleep b/c she was suffering from bone cancer...saldy she was only 6 1/2.
A year later and I still get sad, and still can cry about it (i am actually getting all misty thinkging about my baby.)
It does get better, and like your dog.... Kelsey was like my child. I do not have humane children, but I loved her with my whole heart. She got me through my grams dieing, a terrible break up, my friend passing away, and so much more.
I am not an overly religious person, but I have my faith and I believe that these amazing animals (both dogs and cats) were created by God with love, and the love they give us proves that they do belong in heaven. So one day we will be able to see them again.
My love and prayers are with you and your family. It will get better and you will love another dog as much as you loved her...just in a different way.
Thank you for sharing your story. It still helps to know others out there who will understand that they are more then just pets.
Followed the link from Pork Tornado...Our dog is everything to me. We adopted him in 2001 and we were told that he was about 4 or 5...the vet said he was about 6. It didn't make me angry that the shelter fudged his age to make him more adoptable, I was just hurt that I would have one less year with him than I expected. I completely understand your sorrow. Everytime I hear about someone having to put down their pet, my heart sinks. So sorry for your loss.
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I like to think my dog Peanuts (who died when she was 16 - about 9 years ago now) visits me in my dreams to let me know she's OK. She died on the same day my mother was being operated on for breast cancer.
Arrrgh I'm at work reading your post and couldn't stop the tears, what will my colleague think?
I recently had to say goodbye to my best friend, Reuben. He was 16. He had the body of a cat, but he was truly my best friend. It's so important to know when to let go. Thank you for sharing your story.
So very sorry for your loss. The picture of Belle was beautiful and you obviously loved her with your whole heart. More people should love their furry friends like that.
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